i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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