They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
