Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize