CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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