the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
