Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
