dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
When are your genitals available?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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