so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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