The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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