apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
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