this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
