yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
