You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
