Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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