we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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