Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
