i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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