Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You need a sexual gate keeper
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
