This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
