ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
