Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
