I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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