Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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