I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
