Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
