Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
