you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
