having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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