I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
