How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
