I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
