Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
