"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Randomize
