Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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