sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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