so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
He kissed a someone with a penis
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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