I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Randomize
