dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
This is my gift to your gina
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
