I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
