I think I can smell my own vagina right now
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
