we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
