He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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