so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
