New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
