Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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