So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I wish life had little blips of pornography
pop tarts are not kleenex
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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