Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Randomize
