I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
