what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
