Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
being pregnant is like rehab
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
