You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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