omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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