ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
