Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
