We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
