don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
