Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
