I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
