I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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