If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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