Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
