I just pynch a tree in the face
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
