THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
