I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
