this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize