I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize