and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
