You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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