And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
