Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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