Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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