having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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